it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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