Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
