so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
it was like eating out sand paper
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
