Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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