just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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