her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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