perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
