i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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