The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
They took my balls.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
