She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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