You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
sarcasm needs its own font
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
is it fun? or sober?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
