whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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