guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
