It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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