Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
