There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
