dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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