they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You need Xanax blowdarts
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
