She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
