I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
