Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
It's never too late to be topless.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
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