I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
