Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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