She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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