he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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