Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
