oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
