i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
