omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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