Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
