and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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