why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
