is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
