Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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