Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
