I'm really into asian looking animals
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
