I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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