we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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