how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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