ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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