Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I still have a little drunk in my system
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
