Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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