Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
