Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior

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(604): View more from British Columbia

found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long

(1-604): View more from British Columbia

wtf you measured my hair?

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(651): View more from Minnesota

i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college

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(630): View more from Illinois

He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.

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(254): View more from Texas

Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."

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(258): View more from

You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.

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(315): View more from New York

There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.

(315): View more from New York

Send help.

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(801): View more from Utah

She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.

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