you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
