The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
