YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
it glows. i had to have it.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
