So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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