Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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