The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Randomize
