Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
