can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
