There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
