I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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