It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize