You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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