You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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