He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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