I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
