another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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